Ladies, this is your only warning: It’s cuffing season...run! Meaning that guys are cold, and they tend to seek your comfort now. Let’s be honest, they’re big babies and when the weather gets chillier they realize that body heat is a great way to stay warm. So BEWARE of the: “Hey stranger” texts, the offers to “Netflix and Chill”, and the “where you been big heads”. No but seriously,don’t yall hate the way your exes jump into your inbox on October 1st! *hits block button* May the power of the CURVE ever be in you favor!
Pumpkin Flavored Things
Does anyone ACTUALLY like pumpkin flavored things? Like can you describe what pumpkin actually taste like? I know throwing pumpkin spice on everything is like the “IT” thing to do, but could we at least pick a fruit the people actually like! (yes…pumpkins are fruits, I did the google for this one) Why can’t we like Kiwi it up, or make a hashtag that #mangoislife. OMG we can even choose the Hazelnut as our new Fall brand Ambassador. You know what Hazelnuts make? Freaking NUTELLA! And who doesn’t love the Nutella? #onlyevilpeoplehatethenutella #nutellaislife Look, maybe you like pumpkin or the color orange; all I’m saying is that I vote for a re-vote!
*In my best Katy Perry voice* Are you Hot or are you Cold?!? No but really, are you hot….or cold? This weather has been playing games lately. Some people like to say that Fall has the prettiest weather. Well I have a name for that select group of people... LIARS! Lol Fall is lowkey that one season that is constantly pmsing. She’s freezing in the morning and summertime hot in the afternoon. It sucks because you dress for a winter fashion show at 8am , and by 3pm look like a bad 90’s boy band group with a tank on and your jeans rolled up. #iliterallycannot
Y’all….it’s mid-term season, bills need to be paid season, and get your life season. I feel like Fall literally slaps you in the face! It’s like the mischievous, trickster season. You’re like oh hey, it’s a little cooler! Finally, that summer heat was rough! And Fall is all like: not as rough as life is about to get! *drops tests* *drops uncontrollable weather* drops life issues and bills* And you’re just sitting there like:….well that escalated quickly. Less than 3 months until 2016 #likewahhhh
I heard someone the other day talking about a pumpkin patch party…stop that. The only holiday recognized during Fall is Halloween. And for many of use, that’s just an excuse to dress up, get the drunk, and eat candy. But if you invite me to you “early harvest” or your “Fall Back Friday” party I will not be in attendance. I don’t want to dress for the theme. I don’t want to take 3 trains, 2 buses, and a hoverboard over to your apartment. And I don’t want to taste the pumpkin themes recipes you got from the Pinterest. *Kanye shrugs* Let’s be honest, I just want to hibernate through the fall and winter with Netflix and snacks….so let me live!