So I moved to New York a little under 6 months ago, and the weather has been pretty decent so far. Now, don’t get me wrong- I was definitely freezing before! But at least there was no snow. I’m Texan. Not just Texan, I am Houstonian. The land of the greatest rodeo on earth. The land of the worst drivers in the U.S. And best of all, the land of Queen Bee herself. *snaps in Z formation* You see all the greatness and energy radiates heat. Houston Heat. My city is hot! No really, it’s literally really hot. So when I got my first snowstorm warning, I blew it off. I looked at my phone and giggled. The text warned of 20 inches of snowfall within the next 24 hours. So I did what any reasonable Texan would do. I laughed. No, I cackled! Because this had to be a joke. How is it possible for that much “frozen water” to fall from the sky? Like, what kind of foolery is this? So, I refused to believe that the storm was happening. I declined to adequately prepare for this blizzard. I was in denial that snow was a real thing. *face palms*
So I get why people think Northerners never smile. It’s because they don’t! *Kanye shrugs* Now, for a few weeks I was confused by this phenomenon. I had questions like: “How can someone wake up so angry? #stankface Is it really that hard to hold the door open for the next person? Why won’t you say Good Morning to the bus driver?” AND THEN, it happened. The wind blew, and I understood why no one smiles up here. THE WIND HURTS. *drops mic into a twirl* THE WIND HURTS. It’s piercing. It strikes into your soul, and rips out your giggles and shits to give. I get it now. I get why people are so angry. Winter is not fun. Blizzards suck. And wind hurts. So after I was in denial about the snow fall… I was just as angry as every other Northerner.#amianewyorkernow
*panics because shit just got real* OMG. What did I get myself into? Lol that’s all I could ask myself as I flipped through the weather reports. I was terrified. So I did what any other reasonable adult would do in that dilemma. I wasted 4 hours making a list of things I could’ve done other than move to NYC. This list included: become a para-glider, travel and experience new countries, and marry rich. Marrying rich was obviously number one on the list! *Whispers* Call me! First you deny it, then you get angry at it, then you fear it.
*grabs inhaler* Have you ever been to the grocery store hours before a blizzard hit? Chaotic is an understatement! *sips margarita* Imagine hundreds of people, searching for food and water, dressed from head to toe in snow gear. We are literally hunting and gathering. We procrastinate. We accept. And then we panic. *may the water bottles and flashlights ever be in your favor*
*clears throat* You get really imaginative when you think the world is going to end in a snow-apocalypse. My boyfriend was visiting for the week, and we literally began to sketch out our survival plan. We even knew who we would eat first if it got to that. And it doesn’t help that snow is silent. It’s like a scary movie…always watch the quiet one. #shitgetsreal
So once I realized that my hot water was working, I was good. *brushes shoulder off* I wore my tiara, did a twirl, and even thought about going out to take a blizzard selfie. THOUGHT about being the keyword there. I didn’t actually open the door. #ohno But it was kind of empowering to see the snowfall ,and make it through my first “blizzard” up north. I felt like the post office, I could make it through “rain, sleet, hail, or snow.” #yaaaassss #usps
Y’all snow days are fun, when you’re locked inside with heat, hot water, and tons of food. It’s actually a pretty great experience. It’s like the world stops for a moment. I mean think about it, you can’t go anywhere. You must reflect and soak in your own greatness. It’s a break to reevaluate what you’re doing, and communicate with the ones you love. Be warm. Be safe. Don’t fear the snowflakes.