1. Pride
I’m happy. Extremely happy. This is the first time in 6 years that everything seems to be falling into place. My big sister is healthy. My mom is proud. My little sister is excelling. I just got my Master’s Degree. I start the job of my dreams tomorrow. Life is good. And I’ll be honest, that terrifies me. The last few years have been an uphill battle. I’m used to fighting to get by. And in this moment, it seems like I may be able to just enjoy the view a bit. A friend of mine recently pointed out that I’m scared of things going too well. And I’ll be honest, I am. I’m ecstatic with everything I’ve accomplished over the past few years. And I am extremely proud of myself. However, I don’t want to become to prideful. I don’t ever want to lose touch with what it took to get here. I don’t want to forget that all of this could be taken away at any moment. When you’re a dreamchaser, there comes a moment where things start to fall in line. It will seem like you are winning, and you’ll want to get comfortable. But nothing beautiful comes from being comfortable. So take a moment. Celebrate your win, you deserve it. But don’t let the sparks and glitter deter your work ethic. Stay hungry, my friends. 

2. Envy​
I have a bad habit of checking in on old bullies. I look up their LinkedIns. I stalk their Instagrams. I skim through their tweets. For some twisted reason (that I need to grow out of), I get relief in knowing that those that taunted me were wrong. BUT- Listen to me closely: YOU WILL NEVER CATCH A HATER DOING BETTER THAN YOU! So stop. Better yet: STAAAHHHHPPPP! Criticizing another being’s bouquet won’t help yours bloom. So yes, they were mean. They were hateful. They hurt you. But you’re better than that. You’re busy. Chasing your dreams takes a ton of energy, and you’ll need all of that to rule the world. 

3. Wrath
Soooo you mad??? The other day, my supervisor asked me if I ever got angry. And it made me laugh. Because I used to not only get angry, but I used to be angry. Life was hard, and that was my way of coping with it. And then I let it go. And then I accepted my reality. And then I worked really hard to change that reality. I couldn’t be mad at life for the tough times anymore. Wrath is a heavy emotion to carry around. So I let it go. Don’t get me wrong, I still get upset. But I can no longer hold onto it the way that I used to. I’m busy. And you are to.

4. Gluttony
I’m a glutton when it comes to opportunity. I have a hard time saying no to work. I just want to do it all. I want to be a writer. I want to be a producer. I want to be showrunner. I want stick with comedy and stand up. I want to expand my site. I want to find and continue to share my voice. I want to mentor. I want change the world. That’s a lot. I know. And I’m never going to stop chasing each of those dreams. However, I need to learn to focus on one or two dreams at a time. If not, my mind will continuously race. And that’s no good. It’s ok to want to be a multi-hyphenate. If Issa can do it-you can to. But take your time. Invest in doing things well. You got this. *snaps in Z formation and throws  type A female fairy dust in your direction*

5. Sloth
At my last internship, I was surrounded by not only dreamchasers-but doers. They all worked at a huge network---the end goal for many. But they each had their own dreams and goals that they continued to invest in. They would work 40 to 50 hour weeks, and still find time to invest their crafts. And that’s beautiful. And that’s needed. Ya see, it’s easy to get comfortable. Honestly, there are a lot of people who just want to be content with life. And that’s ok. But if you are one of those people you probably aren’t reading this. The idea of being content makes me anxious. It terrifies me. My biggest fear in life is settling. I just want to reach my fullest potential. And that takes a lot of hardwork. A lot of dirty work. Work that you won’t always get credit for. Work that will drain you. But it will be worth it. So stop being lazy, you’re better than that. 

6. Lust
It’s easier to chase the path that’s sexier. I get that. I’m not judging you for it. Lol the one thing that I’ve learned in New York is that not everything that glitters on the outside is a diamond, boo. So be careful. Don’t forget who you are. Don’t change for the sexiest thing that comes your way. There will be more. Trust me. 

7. Greed
*grabs margarita and screams* DOLLA DOLLA BILL Y’all. So I have a secret for y’all. *leans in closer* No check is worth your dreams and well-being. *drops mic and Kanye shrugs* The other day, my best friend shared with me that he was thinking of quitting his full-time job. He already has a part-time job, and he would like to invest more time into his start-up . At first, I was worried. And then I realized he was completely right. You only get so many hours in a day. How many of those hours are you investing in your self? In your dreams? In your happiness? No judgment here. I’m still trying to find that balance. But don’t get greedy. You’ll realize that you’re only robbing yourself of your truth. 

6. Impulsiveness
I’m a dreamchaser. Always have been. Always will be. #iaintsorry However, I need to grow up a bit. I need to think before I drop everything and move across the country. My impulsiveness terrifies my family and friends. I have friends that don't know what city or state i’m in. I just believe that you have to act on opportunities. I didn’t come from a neighborhood where shots in entertainment were in surplus. So when one arrives, I act quickly. I make my decision instantly. And then I figure out the rest when needed. So far its worked out in my favor. But maybe, for my loved one’s sake, i’ll slow it down a bit. I’ll have a plan before the plane lands.

1. Life Is What You Make It, So Let’s Make It Rock
So everyone knows that my first year in New York was rough. I even wrote about it here! Lol after 9 months in New York, I packed my things up to head West for the summer. And it was the best summer of my life. I was so happy in Los Angeles. It’s like that city made me remember why I wanted to do what I loved to do. And that’s a problem. A city shouldn’t be able to steal or give my joy. There’s a bigger problem there. My problem wasn't with New York. I had a problem with the fear of failure. New York is hard. It’s so easy to mess up and feel like a loser. And that terrified me. I let that fear control my emotions for a year. So I had to change that. I came back to New York with a different outlook, and life has been great. I’m doing what I love, surrounded by brilliant people that I admire. 2016 taught me that I was in control of my life. I could either complain through it, or make the best of it. 

2. It’s Ok To Be Selfish With Your Time
I get called selfish often. *Kanye Shrugs* It doesn’t even bug me anymore. Because I’m not selfish. The word selfish carries the connotation of not caring about other people. And that’s false. I care about other people. But that doesn’t prevent me from caring about myself. We are constantly being told that we are wrong if we don’t constantly place others before ourselves. And that’s sad. If you don’t take care of yourself first, then you can’t help others. *drops mic* Flight attendants are on to something. You must wear your oxygen mask before helping someone put on theirs. If not, YOU WILL BOTH DIE. So take all of the time you need, because it is YOUR TIME. And discover yourself. Love on yourself. Figure shit out. Then continue to love on others. 

3. Perception Is Everything
People see what they want to see. That’s what I learned from the election. You can throw facts in someone’s face---and they will still only see hate. Don’t take the actions of others based on perception, personally. They can’t see through the fog. It’s ok.

4. Your Brand, Your Choice
This summer, someone felt the need to comment on my brand. I don’t think she meant any harm, but I still remember what she said. “Why would you label yourself a Type A Female, that’s derogatory.” *crickets* No, no its not. YOU may take offense to the name because YOU’VE experienced and allowed others to make the TYPE A FEMALE label harmful to your ego. I named my blog THE DIARIES OF A TYPE A FEMALE because I’m proud to be a TYPE A FEMALE.  For years, people would say that I’m a TYPE A FEMALE to critique me. They thought it was a nice way to be shady. But I took it as a compliment. To me, being a TYPE A FEMALE is being a BOSS. It is your brand. It is your choice. 2016 taught me that everyone relates to words differently, so be mindful. But don’t allow it to dim your light. 

5. You Do What You Want When You’re Popping
​Work hard. Plan ahead. And have a good time. When you have a win, even a small one, you are allowed to celebrate it. Buy yourself a small gift. Go out. Treat yo self! You deserve it. 

6. You Are Allowed To End Bad Friendships
As a child, my favorite relationship to learn about was the parasite and host relationship in science class. I just thought it was so interesting that an animal was slowly sucking the life out of the other. I thought that was so cool back then. But as an adult, it isn’t cool at all. Sometimes we form friendships out of love. And it starts out as love. And it’s great. But then it becomes harmful. And toxic. And dangerous. And we must leave the relationship. You can leave lethal relationships. You don’t have to put up with the bad energy. That isn’t your job. Stop telling people that they aren’t good friends unless they deal with your fuckery. That isn’t true. You have a choice. And one day you may choose that you need a fresh start, with fresh energy. 

7. Success Isn’t Measured By A Title
This year has been great for my career. That alone, should’ve made me ecstatic. But New York was still hard. This city is extremely lonely. I started to feel ungrateful. I mean, here I was doing everything I dreamt of. And I was unhappy. I thought it was just me. And then I spoke to two other young professionals about New York. They are both KILLING it in their fields. All of our Instagram feeds look like we’re living the life lol. But we all hated New York for the same reason. It was lonely. Once I realized that I wasn’t alone, I immediately got over it. Because I knew how to fix it. I needed to be around people that I loved and do the things that I loved more often. Success isn’t about your job title. It’s about how happy you are when you prioritize what you love. 

8. NO, NO, NO!
I LOVE saying no! LOVES IT! *claps ratchetly* The word no is empowering. And for some reason, not that many people have found the power in the word yet. You are allowed to say no, don’t let others convince you that you can’t. People will make request. And those requests won’t align with your views, goals, or ethics. So say no. Maybe it isn’t that deep. Maybe you’re just tired. Say no. Maybe you just don’t want to. Say no. *snaps in Z formation. Your choice and voice matter. You have the power.

9. Masks Are Dangerous
​Grieving your peers is different. It’s terrifying in a different way. In 2016, I lost 5 friends. 3 to suicide. I’m not going to say much about this. It was hard. My heart not only hurt for their families, but for the pain they must’ve been feeling. We will never know what someone is really going through. In 2017, I pray that I can be more open with others. So that in return, they may just be more open with me. I don’t know. I wasn’t ready for that part of 2016. It still hurts. 

10. Haters Gonna Hate
​*Kanye shrugs* It’s true. So this past year, I started doing stand-up. Yes, Stand-Up comedy. And…I’m funny. *flips hair* Now, in undergrad I used to tweet about how funny I was all the time. (I know, kinda obnoxious) But so many people felt the need to tell me I wasn’t funny. People who knew nothing about me. They felt the need to break down the confidence of another being. And that’s tragic. But I now realize that the hate had nothing to do with me. Haters tend to project their own insecurities on others. It has nothing to do with you. Ignore it. Don’t let it sink in. Haters will be haters will be haters.

11. Vulnerability Is Not Weakness
I’m a Capricorn. An 8 on the enneagram, if you know what that is. We don’t really relate to feelings to well. *Kanye shrugs* And I never saw this as a problem. #truthbomb I didn’t think you needed to be vulnerable, to be successful. They don’t teach you that in school. It was never at the top of my list of priorities. And then life happened. And then pain happened. And then love happened. And I had these emotions that I was forced to address. And I couldn’t address them alone. Vulnerability was needed. I needed to be open, and to allow myself to connect to others. And to my surprise, LOVE came out of VULNERABILITY. 

12.  Self-Love Is Vital
​Falling in love with yourself is one of the most stunning and essential gifts you can give yourself. It’s life-changing. Your expectations and standards for others will change. Your priorities and goals will shift. You will become your biggest fan. And that’s beautiful. And that’s necessary. And that is what true love is. 

13. Love is Love is Love
​It seems like 2016 was filled with a ton of hate. Allepo is still bleeding. Flint is still facing a crisis. Black Lives are still fighting to Matter. And I could go on and on. We have so much to fight for in 2017. But it has to start with love. Nothing fueled with hate shall prosper. Love is Love is Love is LOVE. 

14. Settling Isn’t An Option
The truth is, doing what you love is a lot of work. Failure is terrifying. And settling is the easy way out. But it isn’t an option. Settling is comfortable, but far from satisfying. You can fail at what you hate, so you might as well continue to do what you love. It’s worth it. 

15. Your Happiness Is A Non-Negotiable
Your happiness should be your first concern. That’s it. It is important to think about others, but to a certain extent. If continuing to “help” others is harmful to your happiness, then that is a problem. At some point, you have to “choose yourself. Always choose yourself. Your sanity and state of mind matter. You matter. 

16. Life Is Beautiful
​*twerks on a coffee table* I. Am. So. Happy. Life is good. It’s hard sometimes. And painful. And heart-breaking. And confusing. And angry. But it never stops being beautiful. 

1. Success Has It’s Own Timing
I feel like I’m so old. I turn 24 in less than a month, and it’s driving me crazy. I have less than 5 years to make the Forbes 30 Under 30 list. And for many, that’s not a big deal. But while other little girls from the south dreamt of a white wedding, I dreamt of making that list. And I hate that it’s a list that I’ve wanted to make. My success will never be measured by the approval of others. It was more about knowing that if I made that list, then I did indeed choose to recklessly and faithfully follow my dreams. It’s like an insurance policy on my ambitions.  It’s like a permanent accountability partner. Life flies by. The days of tomorrow transform into the years of yesterday. I just don’t want to get so lost in trying to get by, that I forget to live. However, success has it’s own timing. You can’t rush perfection. When your time to glow has come, you will know. But until then, keep shining. 

2. Haters Gonna Hate
*sighs into a face palm* My least favorite kind of hater is the subtle shade thrower. Because if you’re going to hate, at least be bold. *snaps in Z formation* Recently, someone tried to throw shade at my personality and my education. *laughs like Beyoncé did when she heard the Keri Hilson diss track* At first, her two insults bugged me. I then realized that she was just projecting her insecurities. She views me as competition, and that’s sad. Haters love to voice their opinions while you’re chasing your dreams. They see your see your drive as a diss, and there is nothing you do about that. But real talk: have you EVER seen a hater doing better than you??? *sips margarita* Drink your water. Wear your lipstick. Continue your plans for world domination. And NEVER let a hater get to you. 

3. You Are The Only You, So Be True
I’m weird. And Awkward. And uncomfortable. And if given the chance to change any of those traits, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t dare. I like being me. *Kanye shrugs* And some people hate that about me. They hate that I really like who I am. They hate that I would never strive to be who they are. They hate that they can’t get to me. And that’s ok. I don’t want the kind of success that requires me to lose who I am. 

4. You Are Not Stagnant, You’re Growing
You may feel like you’re in the same position that you were in last year, but you aren’t. You are not the same person. You’ve grown, and that’s beautiful. Don’t downplay your glow up. 

5. Not All Advice Is Good Advice
I like to believe that people mean well, they just don’t know any better. My roommate is considering a career shift, and she asked me for advice. At first, I gave her what I thought was best. And then I realized what I was doing, and I cringed. I give advice on dream chasing, I will never give advice on what dreams to chase. This is the truth: no one can tell you what dreams to chase. No one knows what you’re capable of. No one knows how much of a badass you are. When giving advice, people tend to tell you what THEY would do. And what THEY would do is irrelevant to you. THEY may be scared to invest in themselves. THEY may project their insecurities on you. THEY may not have chased their own dreams. So be careful. Trust yourself. Believe in how great you are. And take advice with a grain of salt. 

So before we get started, let me explain the title. You’re probably thinking: “Ugh another millennial who can’t get her way.” Or “Ugh another sensitive liberal”. You should really be thinking: “DAMN, look at that click-bait. That is a girl putting her background in SEO to use. You go Glen CoCo, you go!” Lol here’s the truth. I don’t know how to handle this election-because I wasn’t prepared to. I mean we all knew that people were awful. We all knew that people were racist. We all knew that people were sexist. I just didn’t think that people were angry enough to elect someone into office with no experience at all. So I am a 23 year old, well-educated, opinionated minority in this country. And I don’t know if I can be friends with you if you voted for someone who hates me. I don’t know if I could ever trust you. But we’re going to figure this out. So this is me figuring this out. This is a conversation-let's talk. Please read it all before commenting. Or don’t. Again, ya girl knows how this works. So carry on. *twirling through the hate*

***Note this isn't my Pro-Hillary post. I understand that she wasn't squeaky clean either. But I hate when people say they had to : "choose the best of two evils." Because that wasn't true. You can't compare Trump's evil to Hillary's. They aren't even on the same playing field.*** 

And to every minority that was attacked during this campaign season, I'm sorry. We'll figure it out. We'll get through this. Love still Trumps hate. 

1. The Secret Racist
I have a confession to make: I’m southern. I know, it’s such a shock. Because I’m able to show my southern pride WITHOUT the use of the Confederate flag. *whispers* It can be done people! I’ve been lucky enough to live on every coast during the last two years, and I’ve noticed a few things about race and racism. It’s handled and revealed very differently in each community. Discussing race in the south is a game. Southern racism is all about denial and deflection. For example, an old classmate was discussing her grandfather’s time in the war. Now, she loved her grandfather. He was her hero. It took about 20 minutes for me to realize that the war she was referring to was the civil war. And he fought for the south. I noticed that she was avoiding naming the war, and I was curious-so I asked. She took it upon herself to begin defending the Civil War to me. She spent the rest of the conversation telling me that it wasn’t about slavery-it was about states' rights. So I asked her: what rights were the confederates fighting for? What right put them over the edge? She immediately got defensive and said the words that every millennial undercover racist says: “I’m not racist. I have black friends.” Newsflash: you can have an "African American friend" or date someone of another race, and still be racist. Lol and that’s when I knew it. She would rather defend herself-than acknowledge injustice. I’m not saying that you’re racist for voting for Trump. You may have actually believed in the policies of an unqualified candidate. I’m saying that you voted for a candidate that used racism to win an election. I’m saying that you chose the idea of a better economy over the basic rights of people. You chose the possibility of money and fame over humanity. Not every German who voted for Hitler considered themselves racist or xenophobic. I’m sure they were just "trying to better their economy" too. You view our reaction to Trump's speech as a feeling. To you, it's a feeling. Maybe it made you FEEL uncomfortable. To minorities-it was life-threatening. You get to choose whether you are affected by his words. We don't. You may not be racist, you may not hate me. But you made it very clear that you don't give a damn about me. 

2. The Hotep
I don’t let people talk down to me. *shakes them haters off* I just don’t allow it. And for some reason, that REALLY bugs hoteps. (if you’re wondering what a Hotep is-click here). I shared my opinion on non-voters on election day. My educated opinion. And a Hotep had the nerve to call me uneducated. *laughs like Beyonce did when Keri Hilson tried to come for her* You can call me a lot of things. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. However, I will never let you call me uneducated. Because it’s false. Like that’s not an insult that can be based on opinion. If you’re going to come for me, come correct. 

3. The White Feminist
There are tons of articles on why White Feminism isn’t true feminism. So I’m not going to spend much time explaining that. Here's a cool video on it!

On election day, tons of women plastered their “I Voted” stickers on the grave of Susan B. Anthony. And I think that’s sweet. I believe that she was a trailblazer in her own light and way. But if you scream for Susan B. Anthony, and forget to acknowledge Sojourner Truth, then we may not believe in the same inclusive feminism. But if you want to learn about Sojourner Truth and other dope women of color who led the movement, then check this out!
 Taylor Swift always has a ton to say about feminism. And that’s great. We need more people to speak on it openly. However, she was silent during this election. She felt the need to call Kanye out for a song lyric---but didn’t feel it necessary to let her fans know that guys couldn’t “grab you by the pussy.” There’s something that doesn’t sit well with me about that. The stats show that a majority of white women voted for Trump. And my question is: Why? Why was that ok? And again, not trying to be mean. I'm literally asking you: WHY? Do you not believe in your own rights? Or do you think that since YOU will be ok---it doesn't really matter? Feminism is a trendy buzzword, but sexism is welcome as long as it doesn't affect YOU---right?

A few Trump supporters have said, "I voted for the people that will surround Trump, not Trump." And to that I say:
1. No, Trump's name was on the ballot. You voted for Trump. Accept the blood on your hands. 
2. It's only been a few days, but let's take a look at those people that will "surround" him:​

A. There's Mike Pence. He's so well spoken, right? He can't be that bad. Wrong! While he was governor of Indiana he was in favor of sending money allocated to care for people with HIV/AIDS to organizations that provide conversion therapy.
B. Rudi Giuliani. Now, my heart hurts when I talk about him. Stop and Frisk was ruled unconstitutional for a reason. Racial profiling shouldn't be applauded. 
C.Stephen Bannon. *face palms into a sigh* Stephen Bannon. I'm just going to ask you to dig deep into Bannon's past. 

Are you ok with any of the above leading your country? Do you feel safe?

4. The Deplorable

Deplorable:
de·plor·a·ble
dəˈplôrəb(ə)l/
adjective
deserving strong condemnation."the deplorable conditions in which most prisoners are held

I had to constantly look this definition up during this election, because I never understood the ruckus around it. If the word deplorable offends you so much, then you probably are deplorable. *Kanye Shrugs* The language that was used during this election was ridiculous---lol but the anger over the word deplorable is a joke. You’re angry at being referred to as “bad”. I’m going to provide you with a list of things that are far more deplorable than being called deplorable:
​i.Making fun of the handicapped
ii.Making fun of prisoners of war
iii.Being racist. Af.
iv.Sexual Assault
v.Being endorsed by the KKK

Why are you allowed to hold on to that word--but ignore the others? The other words with actual meaning. The other words driven by hate. I don't understand. 

5. The Protest Voter
You have the right to vote 3rd party. I get that. But don’t rant to me about how the third party vote was a vote for your conscious. Because you and I both know that Gary Johnson wasn't smart enough to run this country. His own running-mate admitted that he wasn’t the most qualified candidate. And while we’re on the subject of your conscious, let’s talk about that conscious of yours. You knew that your candidate wasn’t going to win. But you wanted to drive more attention to the third party, and I get that too. The two-party system isn't working for us. But you knew that your vote for a third party would ultimately help to elect a candidate that ran a campaign of hate and division. Was that worth it? Is your conscious happy? I’m not accusing you of anything-I’m asking. I want to know if you got the outcome you were hoping for. Was your “protest vote” worth it? Do you hate the establishment more than you hate racism, sexism, and xenophobia? Let me know. 

6. The Non-Voter

Earlier this week, I posted this on Facebook:
“When did it become cool to not vote? You're not woke, you're probably a Hotep. Just like the guys who tried to push Birth of Nation, but refused to see Moonlight. What are you really promoting? What are you really saying? Does it make sense? If you don't vote I think you're entitled. And Ignorant. And lazy. And full of it. I think you're someone who is going to complain for the next few years-but you will never do anything to change/prevent the problem. And before y'all takeover my post-check my resume. I don't need your hotep-ish rants. And I get it, people aren't thrilled at the choices. One of those choices should literally be considered a joke-but i'm not even here to tell you who to vote for. It's not that kind of post. But you still have a duty. So stop throwing a tantrum. You are not a toddler. Grow up. Yes-you have the right not to vote. And If you're not voting-fine. (you probably aren't registered so my argument won't help). But don't lecture others about following your path. There are other things on that ballot. Unless you can explain why you don't approve of ANYTHING on that ballot-you're wrong.I would blame the education system on this-but I went to high school with most of you. So the ignorance is on you. I blame you.”

I still feel the same way. It is your right not to vote. I believe in your rights, even though your choice to use that right may have cost me mine. However, If you did not vote-I will never take your opinion seriously. Because you’re all talk. And that sickens me. People who choose to complain, but not act disgust me. And that’s with everything in life-not just politics. Don’t spend the rest of your life complaining. Being stagnant shouldn’t be your choice. You’re worth so much more than that. Your refusal to vote wasn’t a protest. Because you made a choice. You made a choice that we’re all trying to deal with now. There is blood on your hands. 

7. The Evangelical
I've lost respect for every TV preacher that supported Trump. *Kanye shrugs* And I don’t want to get into a debate over religion. Because I ACTUALLY believe in the division between Church and State. However, if you use your religion as an excuse to harm, belittle, disown, divide, and hate others-then I don’t believe it is the word of God. Because God is love. And that campaign was all hate.

8. The True Trump Supporter
This Is the kind of supporter that scares me. You wanted to hear what Trump was saying. You actually believe in the stereotypes that he roared. You want this country back. You want everyone who is not like you to leave. You believe that your downfalls are caused by another individual's win. You feel that your pain isn’t shared. You feel like this country belongs to you, and everyone else is just a visitor. And you are what’s wrong with the world today. To you-I can only speak words of love. Because you are filled with so much hate. I hope that you one day realize that your hate will not help you win. Your hate will not change your life for the better. Your hate will not make America great again. 

1. Excuses Are A Waste Of Time.

Excuses scare me. *drops mic and runs away. * Excuses are literally you just selling yourself short. I couldn’t do this because *insert bullshit here*. I couldn’t make it because *insert disappointment here*. I wish I could’ve made it but *insert blah blah mother-freakin blah here*. If you aren’t going to do something, then don’t do it. Don’t waste someone’s time with could’ve-should’ve-would’ve because you DIDN’T. You're young, but you aren't dumb. So either commit to the task-or grow up say NO! It's ok to say no. Own that ish. *snaps in Z formation*

2. You Are Not For Everyone.

You either love me-or you hate me. There’s no in between. *Kanye shrugs* I wish I would’ve found peace with that statement earlier in life. I used to try to make people who disliked me understand me. I thought if they knew me, the real me, that they would get it. But that’s not my job. My job isn’t to convince others to understand me. My job is to constantly be true to myself, and if that’s not enough for you then that’s your problem. 

3. Perception Isn’t Reality.

​The way things appear-and the truth behind the image tell two different stories. When I was younger, I thought the grass would be greener if I could just get to the other side. When the reality is- that we’re all going through it. Every single one of us has a story. A story that either drives us or drowns us. And that choice is yours. So I stopped searching for this fantasy, and took a deeper look at my reality. I hope that your perception and reality line up . I hope that you constantly see yourself in the pure light that we see you. I hope that we can all learn to be the light-because life is hard af. And we’re all just trying to make it. 

4. Love is Fickle, But Worth It.

I have a friend who thinks that a guy I was with during undergrad was my first love. That friend is wrong. So very wrong. It took me years to figure out what true love is. And I know for a fact that whatever I was feeling during that point in time wasn’t love. It couldn’t have been love. You see, I refuse to accept anything that isn’t pure and honest as love. I veto the idea or the theory that people who love you must constantly hurt you to prove it. Love doesn’t have to be like a movie. It’s not meant to be dramatic. It can be at times, but it doesn’t HAVE to be. But to be honest, I don’t give a damn about your first love. I want to know about the moment you chose to love yourself. That’s important. When did you decide to put yourself first? When did you discover that your voice matters? When did you become your biggest fan? Love is pure. It’s kind. And it’s easy. So make loving yourself as easy as the movies make loving someone else seem. 

5. Never Dim Your Light To Make Others Comfortable.

It makes some people extremely uncomfortable to witness you loving yourself. And that’s sad. But that’s not your problem. It’s ok to celebrate yourself, you’re allowed to do that. And if anyone EVER criticizes you for it-please know that their issue is with themselves. People who don’t love themselves have a hard time watching others love themselves freely. I’m not saying that I’m perfect. I’m saying that I love myself anyways.  So don’t fret. Don’t change. Don’t dim your light. Shine baby, you’re a star. 

1. Choosing Yourself
We’re in our 20’s. We’re allowed to be selfish. We’re allowed to be a little reckless. And we’re allowed to choose ourselves…constantly. Every time I say this, I get an email about how selfish I must be. And that’s the furthest thing from the truth. I’m not selfish. The word selfish carries the connotation of not caring about others. And that’s not true. I just also care about myself…a lot. And there is nothing wrong about that. Choosing yourself, and putting your own needs first isn’t selfish, it’s self-care. You need to care for yourself as much as you care for others. And I don’t know when it became taboo to treat yourself about yourself, but that’s whack! So if you want to move across the country, do it. If you want to change careers, do it. If you want to change your life, do it. Do what is going to make you happy. I’m not saying other people don’t matter---I’m saying that you do too!

2. Saying No
​I LOVE saying no! *drops mic and twirls* I feel like people underestimate how powerful the word NO-really is. For some reason, many people feel that they have to say yes. Say yes to taking on more than they can handle. Say yes to constantly putting the needs of others-before themselves. Say yes-to putting themselves last. And there it is. The problem that I have with “yes” people. Why do you think the needs of another person-are more important than your own? You’re allowed to say no without feeling guilty. 

3. Leaving
A couple of my friendships have ended since I’ve moved. And the truth is-I’m not torn up about them ending. At all. *Kanye shrugs* I don’t regret leaving Texas, but those friendships didn’t collapse over proximity. It was much deeper than that. It’s ok to end unhealthy relationships and connections. You don’t have to stay, and it is NOT your job to change another person. Don’t apologize for leaving. You have every right to. 

4. Having An Opinion
In some ways, I feel like NY has silenced me. And that’s weird. It’s viewed as the one place where everyone can be themselves. So I know it’s not the city-it’s my reaction to the city. You see, everyone is so talented, creative, and driven. So sometimes it’s hard to speak up. And because of this-I haven’t voiced my opinions as much. And that freaks me out. If you know me at all, you know that I’m not one to be shy. Or quiet. Or boring. So I’m gonna work on that. Here are a few opinions that I haven’t shared in awhile:
i.I try not to judge individuals on their political affiliations. But if you’re voting for Trump-I’m judging you. I’m judging you real hard.
ii.Every time someone mentions feminism, I feel the need to ask them if they believe in Intersectional Feminism.
iii.Leaving Texas was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. NY has been difficult, but it was needed
iv.If you hate on Beyoncé---I don’t trust you.

​I need to get used to openly saying what’s on my mind again. I’m allowed to have an opinion. And I refuse to apologize for it. 

5. Winning
Stop apologizing for being great. Stop apologizing for winning. Stop apologizing for getting something that others wanted. That isn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for accomplishing something you worked for. Stop dulling your shine to make others feel better. You’re allowed to celebrate your wins. I get a TON of shade from my peers for liking myself; and to be completely transparent… I don’t give a DAMN. *flips hair* I don’ think it’s my job to make others feel comfortable about something that has NOTHING to do with them. So the next time you win, celebrate it. Twirl in public. Treat yo self. Because you can. Because you deserve it. Because you’ve earned it. 

6. Taking Up Space
Sometimes-I apologize when other people bump into me. And it’s disgusting. *sighs into a facepalm* This summer, I interned with a fellow Type A Female badass, she reminded me that I should never apologize for taking up space. I’ve heard that many times before, but for some reason it clicked when she said it. I think we’re taught at a young age that apologizing makes you the nice person. But we were never taught that you are not always to blame. You shouldn’t have to apologize for living. For moving. For being yourself. For loving and appreciating the skin that you are in. For loving who you love. You shouldn’t have to apologize for being yourself. And if someone has a problem with you for “taking up space”-then please realize that it has more to do with their own insecurities than you at all. 

7. Demanding More
​Recently, a guy I used to date decided it was time for him to share his thought on my life. *rolls eyes* He said that I expected too much. *begins to cry from laughing so hard* #literallyicannot He felt that we would’ve worked out if I didn’t “want too much.” #BOYBYE lol I couldn’t even take that conversation seriously. *clears throat so that every scrub can hear me* I AM NOT APOLOGIZING FOR WANTING MORE! Why would I do that? Oh wait, did he expect ME to…SETTLE?!? #ohhellnaw  You are allowed have expectations, and if people don’t meet those expectations---you are allowed to distance yourself. It may hurt. But it’s true. Don’t lower your standards to make others feel more comfortable. 

8. For Falling In And Out Of Love
​Love is fickle af. Feelings grow as fast as they diminish. So don’t be afraid to jump in, but don’t forget that you are free to jump out at any moment. Don’t apologize for the way you feel. As Selena always said, “the heart wants what it wants.”

1. There's A Difference Between Projection And Advice.
This one is hard. When you ask for advice, you're expecting another person to put themselves in your shoes-but many don't. Most people give you advice based on the expectations and limitations they set for themselves...and that sucks. Their advice reveals more about their insecurities than your life. Jay Z's uncle told him that there was no way he would be better than LL Cool J. Ashley Graham was constantly denied by people before even meeting them. People told Michelle Obama that she was reaching too high. Don't let other's disguise their fears and insecurities as advice. You don't want to be like anyone else. You don't want to live the life someone else is living. So why ask them their opinions on important life decisions. Why ask them to comment on a life they aren't living?

2. You're Allowed To Love Yourself.
You can't believe in yourself, if you don't love yourself. You can't accept love-until you love yourself. You can't thrive-until you love yourself. And i'm not talking about a basic pop song, flavor of the week kind of love. I'm talking about that Adele Rolling In The Deep kind of love, the way Kanye loves himself, that Drunk in Love marital status twerk worthy kind of love... with YOURSELF! I just need you to be your own biggest fan. And don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. There's something so beautiful and strong about rooting for yourself.  #treatyoself

3. You Aren't Supposed To Have It Together.
My life is a mess, and people keep giving me compliments on it. *drops mic* No seriously, sometimes I have to eat peanut butter out of the jar for dinner---so it makes me laugh when someone says that I have it together. But i'm NOT supposed to have it together! I'm supposed to be chasing my dreams. I'm supposed to be figuring out what I want in my life. I'm supposed to be on a journey of self-discovery. 

4. Being Unapologetic Is Self-Care.
*twerk. twerk. hair flip.** twerk. twerk. hair flip*. Stop apologizing for being who you are. *claps ratchetly* Don't change to make others comfortable. My name is Amira. I love Beyonce, blogging, and i'm funny af. I'm loud, opinionated, and not afraid to let you know when you've crossed the line. And I will never apologize for any of the above. Don't apologize for who you are. Don't apologize for who you love. And sure as hell don't aplogize for the way you wear your hair. Stop apologizing for being true to your heart. #stopthat

5. People Change People.
It's true. People change people. To be honest, I think it's beautiful, when it's done correctly. It can be so inspiring. And pure. And touching. But it could also be heartbreaking. Soul-crushing. And chaotically painful. We are meant to learn from each other. We are meant to grow with each other. We are here to impact each other's lives. So yes, I've met people who have changed my outlooks on life, love, and what it means to be free. I'm constantly rediscovering who I'm meant to be. And I think that is what life is all about. 

6. You Can't Sacrifice Your Sanity For
​Another Person's Happiness.
Stop choosing other people over your happiness. That's sweet, but dangerous. Your happiness matters. Your voice matters. You matter. So stop putting yourself last. When will you realize that you are just as important as those around you? My close friends say: Amira only does what Amira wants to do. And they're right.There is power and freedom in saying no.

7. You Are More Than Enough.
I need you to read this next one in your world dominating, hair flipping, ground stomping, Beyonce/Rih Rih/Nicki voice. You are enough. I don't know who tried to tell you that you weren't---but shut that ish down. It's time that we loved ourselves as much as we love others. I'm talking about the way Kanye loves Kanye-type of love. You work hard. You are a good person. You are Enough, and you deserve to be happy. 

9. You Can't Do It All Alone. 
Shonda Rhimes has help. Remember that. That is all, carry on. 

10. Your Happiness Is Worth More Than A Paycheck.
A good friend of mine recently quit her job because it was mentally and emotionally draining. *snaps and twirls for her* Check out her story in Choosing Yourself Over A Job. 
Toxic jobs are just as horrible as toxic friends. I understand---we all need money to survive. But at what point is a paycheck more important than your happiness? 

11.You Are Allowed To End Toxic Relationships.
About a year ago, I ended a long friendship. I wrote about it in "To My Ex Best-Friend, 8 Things I Wish You Knew." It's sad, but that friendship had to end. It was passive aggressive. It was insincere. And it wasn't pure. Mutual friends often criticize me for ending that friendship so abruptly---but it had to end. That friendship was toxic. I literally have no idea who that person is anymore. And it isn't my job to be someone's punching bag. You are allowed to cut people off. *cuts it*

12. You Judge Others For Their Views On
Race, Sex, And Rape Culture.
The older you get, the more you realize that your friends from high school were racist. Or sexist. Or both. Recently, the school I attended for undergrad has been dragged for hiding and ignoring rape cases. And to that I say #yaaaaaassss. Because it is finally time for the truth to come out. I foolishly got on Twitter and saw many "friends" attempting to defend the school and the accused---instead of protect the survivors. And that's disgusting. If you think a sport is more important than someone's life then you're not only wrong---you're a part of the problem. The moment you make a comment about the survivor and what she/he could've done to prevent it----you are a part of the problem. If you blame alcohol instead of the attacker---then you are the problem. I think it's about time we started to talk more about race, identity, sex, and rape culture. Maybe then I won't have to mute so many of y'all when a headline hits. 

13. The Older You Get, The More Awkward You Get.
I'm one of the most awkward butterflies you'll ever meet. *kanye shrugs* I'm just weird, I can't really explain it. The other day, I was uncomfortable around people I had known for years. When I left Houston, I lost touch with a lot of them and it made me anxious to see everyone again. But my awkwardness isn't subtle. I twitch. And sweat. And giggle. And then I forget to breathe. I'm pretty sure they all thought I was on something. Nope. That's just me....trying to figure out friendship.

14. Dogma Is Disgusting.
The idea that we were all supposed to go to school, then immediately get married and have kids used to give me panic attacks. People would speak of it like it was the only option---like it was the end goal. And it's not. Dogma "is a belief that is accepted by the members of a group without being questioned or doubted." It's basically accepting something as a fact without doing your research. It's the idea of doing things because we think we're supposed to. Nothing great ever comes from doing what we're supposed to do. Normal things happen to normal people. And no one wants to be normal. 

15. Haters Be Flocking.
Whether you win, lose, or draw people are going to talk about you. So you might as well give them something to live for honey. *snaps in Z formation* In undergrad, I overheard someone talking mess about me in the bathroom. I was right next to her, and she didn't even realize that it was me. '11 Amira would've gone off on her, but '15 Amira held the door open for her and told her to have a great day. Some people just need something to hate on. But ask yourself: have you EVER seen a hater doing better than you? You're winning! *Beyonce hair flip*

16. There Is Nothing More Important Than Being Yourself.
When I first moved to NY I wasn't myself at all. I didn't fit in, and I was was desperately trying to. And that shit was disgusting. *snaps in Z formation* I literally felt like I was drowning in the shallow end of a pool filled with designer brands and hipster wannabes. I couldn't take it. I had to reset, and find Amira again. I had to find and use my voice. I had to make NY accept me-and not conform to my surroundings. And i've never been happier.

17. The Sweetest People Are Heaven Sent.
I've lost 3 friends this year. 3. And they were all such beautiful people. And i'm not just saying that because I knew them. What I mean was they were too sweet, too pure, and too nice for most of this world. Every death was sudden and unexpected. And each death made me want to be better to other people. Because they were better Sidne taught me that everyone goes through so much in life but that isn't a reason to be bitter. Carlos taught me that not everyone is intimidated by your confidence. Danielle taught me that you affect the lives of others without even realizing it. It's been a really long year. My heart broke 3 times this year. Love on those around you. Let them know how they've changed your life. 

18. You Aren't Going To Receive Every
Apology That You Must Forgive.
Recently, I got an apology from The Chameleon (read previous post), the first person to ever break my heart. It was years later, and the damage was already dealt with. It was nice to have, but it wasn't necessary. I forgave him before I got an apology because I had to move on.I couldn't wait on another being to realize their wrongdoings---or the healing process would never begin. And you want to heal---because after the healing process comes world domination. *grabs tiara*

19. Facebook Memories Ruin Your Day.
I hate Facebook memories. It's like a you keep tagging me in #flashbackfriday photos after i've blocked you. I don't want to see the song lyrics I posted when that one guy broke my heart. I don't want to see the slighted opinion I used to have on the lives of others. I don't want to be reminded of that bad haircut I used to rock. Let's just act like it never happened.

20. Being Heartless Isn't As Cool As We Thought.
Remember when we all used to be excited about not caring about other people. *face palms* That was so gross of us. Why would we celebrate the lack of love and purity in our hearts. You're allowed to love others. You allowed to fall in love. You're allowed to fall out of love. You're allowed to have and show feeling. You're a human---not a robot. Love freely. Be pure. 

21. You're old....AF.
I'm going to be 24 soon. That's gross, isn't it? *throws tantrum* Can I still mess up? Will I still mess up? OMG will my licence finally be horizontal?? #QTNA

22. Adulting Lowkey Sucks.
Wahhhhh it's so hard. And it's the basic things that make it difficult--like going to the post office. I hate the post office. It brings out the worst in people. I went to the post office the other day, and I left questioning humanity. But the great thing about adulting is the wine that you are now legal enough to drink. So drannkk up. Cheers to responsibility. 

23. Your Opinion Matters.
I will forever stand up for the underdog. I will forever speak on Intersectional Feminism and Police Brutality. I will forever dodge hoteps, and continue to speak the truth. I will always strive to learn more about the indigenous and aboriginal fight for equality. I will forever bring up the 200 missing girls in Nigeria, and those affected by the fighting in Syria. The other day, a friend from high school made a post declaring her feminism. Which I applaud---but I had to ask the infamous question: Intersectional or Nah? In no way will ever try to belittle your opinion, but I think we're meant to learn from each other. And if your idea of feminism does not include and address women of color, then it isn't truly equality. We have a voice for a reason, it's time we used it.