I think we all have a bad habit of thinking we can control the future. We can plan. We can schedule. We can even attempt to prepare, but we cannot control what is meant to be. I wanted to spend last summer in New York. I was convinced that I had to be there to succeed. I imagined myself strutting the busy streets alone, and taking over the scenes. However, I couldn’t get an internship in New York. I applied to over 80 different companies, and I was devastated. I ended up accepting an internship in Austin, and it was the best move I’ve ever made. I fell in love with that city, and it gave me time to fall in love with myself as well. Austin gave me an opportunity to work, but it also gave me time to reflect on my life and goals. Not everything you desire is meant for you. Don’t give up on your dreams, but be open enough to accept variations. The path to success isn’t a straight line, sometimes you’re meant to take detours.
I strongly believe that you become what you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with hateful and negative energy, then you will eventually become a hateful and negative person. Life is too short to be unhappy. Surround yourself with positive energy, good morals, and great drive. You don’t want to catch a nasty outlook on life. And yes, I mean catch! People can catch disgusting attitudes faster than they can catch the common cold, and that’s sad. Energy is contagious, surround yourself with good vibes. Be brave enough to let go of those anchoring your growth.
I find it funny when people point out my flaws in attempt to hurt me. LOL I literally chuckle. Because I don’t really see them as flaws; I never have and I never will. I have really big feet, but it never really bugged me. You see, I used to swim, so in my head it was like an edge no one else had. My large feet were like flippers, and they gave me an edge over others. What many view as their flaws, are really their secret weapons. You have to get over the hate that you have for being different, and realize the beauty in it.
I often get criticized for having a traveler’s soul. I get distracted really easily, and chase opportunity after opportunity. But sometimes that’s important. Sometimes you have to take a chance and put your trust in new things. The wind shifts from direction to direction, and sometimes you have to mimic that. We’re young, we should be allowed to travel in many directions. Chase the wind. You never know in which direction your future may take you. Allow it to take you.
Take a chance. Do something without a safety net. We’re meant to make mistakes in youth, so do not fear them. I’m a Type A so I often get lost in my notes, or my pros and cons list, or my diagram weighing out my options. I like to plan every detail out, when in reality…I can never plan the outcome. It is time that we started challenging ourselves. Believe in yourself enough to take a risk. Without risk, there are no rewards.
This year I’ve learned to enjoy my own presence. I think many of us fear being alone. But there is a difference between being alone, and being lonely. Being single does not make you lonely. It gives you an opportunity to identify yourself. I disappear for days, and my friends hate this, but I need it. Like mentally….I need it. It is only when I’m alone that I can collect my thoughts. My thoughts...like my OWN thoughts. And I can reflect on my OWN needs. And dream about my OWN goals. Being alone gives you a chance to discover who you really are. Sometime you need to get lost in yourself; and that doesn’t make you lonely.
Not everyone is going to like you. No matter what you do, SOMEONE will dislike you. This lesson was really hard on me this year. I had to realize that some people will find any reason to hate you. Earlier this year, I sat across from someone that at the time I viewed as a friend. She stated that I was stuck-up and looked down on others. Now, I get this statement a lot; and I’ve realized that it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with that persons insecurities. She was angry that I walk around with my head held high. She was angry that I was always happy. And she was angry that I was confident. Now everyone listen very carefully, this is probably the most important statement I will ever say: DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING YOURSELF! There is nothing wrong with being yourself, and if others choose to dislike that….then it’s their loss. Even if you chose to mold yourself into what they wanted you to be, they’ll just find something else to dislike. Don’t be a chameleon to please the hyenas! *Snaps in Z formation*
The better you’re doing the more haters you will receive. It sucks, but it happens! Last semester, I walked into a bathroom of the business building to check my hair, and I overheard someone use my name in a conversation. The person was in a stall, and I guess she was on the phone. I heard her say: “Amira? Who does she think she is? She aint S**t.” Now, I walked out because of that restroom because I am no longer freshman year Amira, I am senior year Amira. And senior year Amira knows that if that individual felt the need to gossip about you on the phone in a restroom stall, then they aren’t worth your presence. But I do have an answer to that question. She asked who I thought I was. Well…I’m AMIRA! *twirls AND snaps in Z formation*. And I can achieve any and everything I put my mind to. Be honest, have you EVER seen a hater doing better than you? No…because if they were, they wouldn’t have time to hate. #aintnobodygottimeforthis Don’t let a hater stop you from chasing your dreams. First they tease, then they mimic.
We all have low moments, and we hate them. However, they're very necessary! Your greatest lessons come from your valleys. We need to understand our lows in order to grow. So after you heal from your downfall, questions it. Ask what went wrong. Ask what you could've done differently. Decode your low moment, so that your next low isn't as deep.
It’s my last semester of senior year. EVERYONE is panicking, and it’s a little funny. I get it…change is scary. However, change is necessary. Can you imagine being stagnant? The thought of that literally gives me anxiety! #literallyicannot don’t fear change, it’s going to happen regardless. Embrace it!
Some interactions are meant to be temporary. Some people are just meant to teach us a lesson, then vanish. We have to learn to let go. The Chameleon was sent in my life to teach me that: I should be careful who I hurt, because I could be hurt too. The Insecurity Magnet was meant to teach me that: people will hate you for the flaws they see in themselves. And the Envious Witch taught me that: hurt people will attempt to hurt you. Luckily, none of these individual are in my life today. Learn to let go of people after you’ve accepted the lesson they brought with them.
*pageant waves goodbye*
I have to constantly remind myself of this lesson. Everyone is going through something. It’s sad, but pain is what connects us all. I’m learning to think about what someone else might be going through before I make an unnecessary judgment. I’m human, I judge too... And it’s disgusting! I believe that understanding one’s hurt and pain, will help me stop judging.
I’ve never been in love, and I’m ok with that. I’m learning that love has its own timing, and we cannot control when it hits. I have a friend that is addicted to relationships. She needs to constantly feel loved. But is that really love, or is that a distraction? With The Chameleon I tried to force feelings that weren't there. I thought I was ready for love. You can't force someone, who isn't right for you, to be the right one. Be strong enough to reject artificial love; it’ll make it easier to accept when it really comes.
This year I’ve learned to love life more than ever before. I not only exist, but I embrace the beauty around me. I love the laughter. I love the smiles. I love the adventures. I LOVE life. For many, this is a difficult concept to accept, and I understand. But once you love yourself, you begin to love the life you live…..and it’s beautiful. Absolutely Beautiful….