By: Dusti huston
I kid you not, not even 24 hours after becoming engaged, tons of family immediately started asking the exact day the wedding would be. I’m 22! Yes, I am super stoked that this handsome guy has asked me to marry him, but I haven’t even figured out what I want to do this week, let alone when I’m going to get married.
anything you do with your hands
You suddenly have this really expensive piece of jewelry on your hand, and you start to do everything in your power to not get it dirty or let anything touch it. You take it off when you wash your hands, when you take a shower, when you clean the kitchen, when you are doing anything crafty. Literally, if you are doing anything that involves your hands, the ring comes off.
So you do everything you can to keep anything from touching your ring, and then it happens. YOU HIT IT ON SOMETHING. Your world ends for a few seconds, and you look at your finger panic-stricken like you do when you drop your cell phone; and it is still there, all sparkly and new.
fiancé is surprisingly difficult
Fiancé isn’t a word that we use very much growing up, so when it comes time for us to officially start using it in our life, it’s HARD. For a solid week after getting engaged, my closest friends were consistently correcting me whenever I called my fiancé, my boyfriend, as if it were a crime. #Whoops
Seriously. None of my photos on Instagram or Twitter have ever spiked higher than 60-ish likes. The day I posted I was engaged I got 100+ on all of my social media networks. I felt famous for a good 24 hours.
anymore because he DID put a ring on it
That’s right. I got engaged, and immediately realized Beyonce’s famous “Single Ladies” was no longer relatable to me anymore. No longer can I wave my left hand in the air because he did, in fact, put a ring on it.
At first your engagement story is long, drawn-out, and super cute. Then someone asks you for what feels like the hundredth time to tell them the story because “they haven’t heard it yet,” and you quickly realize how sick you are of hearing yourself explain it, and immediately try to shove the responsibility of storytelling to your fiancé for the evening.
You know how you have that good chunk of friends who were genuinely grossed out and annoyed by your relationship from day one? Once you get engaged they immediately start “shipping” you and act like they were always your biggest supporters. #UmNo
your wedding in some way
Way before I got engaged, I announced to my family that I was planning on moving to New York after graduating, and the first thing that came out of my step-moms mouth was “How am I supposed to help you plan your wedding if you get engaged then.” This literally happened. I’m sorry, who invited you to my planning party? This hasn’t changed since I got engaged. Granted, I need all the help I can get, but it is incredible how many people ASSUME you can’t plan without them.
you make them realize they’re wrong
Following this “obviously I’m helping you plan this thing, right?” notion, there is nothing more awkward than staring a family-member or friend in the face and watching them realize that you never planned on having them play a hand in your wedding other than attending. #SorryNotSorry
billion wedding-related ads
This is seriously no joke. The day after I got engaged, I started seeing a change in my Facebook feed immediately. Not only did all of my “suggested app” ads turn into “wedding planning” sorts, but I started seeing advertisements for shirts that straight-up said “this guy has the sexiest fiancee ever.” #Seriously
talked to in years start popping up
On top of becoming super popular on social media, all of your old “friends” who you haven’t seen or heard from in years start messaging/texting/and commenting things like “I’m SO happy for you!” “Can’t wait to see you at the wedding!” “Can’t wait to get my invite!” Seriously? If you haven’t had anything to do with my relationship (or myself), you can #sitdown.
show your hand in any way possible
#HonestyHour, right after I got engaged my fiancé and I went out to dinner, and I seriously caught myself doing everything I could to make sure everyone at the restaurant (hostess, waiter, manager) caught sight of my ring. I tossed my hair more than I EVER have in my life.
I didn’t get a conventional ring. It’s a little smaller than my generation tends to get (which I prefer), and I got a blue stone in the middle. I LOVE, LOVE LOOOOOOVE it…. But you would be amazed how many people will look at your ring and make sure you see the disgust on your face. If I had a buck for every time I’ve shown someone the ring and they said “oh…well…that’s different…,” well, you know.
hear their opinions about the wedding
Once again, it is amazing how much people around you think they get to control how YOUR big day is supposed to go down! I told someone I planned on renting my wedding dress because I don’t feel like spending a stupid amount of money on something I’m going to wear once and she literally was like “um. NO. you’re not allowed to do that.” When I’ve told friends I was pretty sure we were going to marry in the Catholic church their actual reaction was “don’t you want to have fun? Shouldn’t you do it outside?” SERIOUSLY? Do I get an opinion in any of this?
the wedding near them
Continuing the last point, people actually get upset if you don’t plan on having the wedding in their city. Like it is a total inconvenience for them to have to travel to this one big event in your entire life. I have heard so many say “why can’t you just have it HERE” that I am about to straight up elope without anyone knowing.
going to start having children
Not only have I seen ads on my Facebook AND Amazon for baby registries, but a significant amount of my family has inquired about when they are going to start seeing little ones run around. Um. Excuse me? I just graduated. What ever happened to focusing on yourself and your marriage for a little while?
Although you may not be married yet, you start conjoining things without realizing it. One or the other pays for something, and you don’t think twice about it because you suddenly realize it is essentially coming out of the same pocket “YA’LL'S” pocket. You were always a pair before, but now you are legally about to become one. WHOA.
is the last thing you want to be doing right now.
As excited as you are to become someone’s fiancée, if you are like me, you are dreading and freaking out about where to begin in this wedding-planning process. When did weddings become so complicated anyways? Do I have to hire someone to do my hair and makeup day of? Do I have to hire a live band? This all sounds so expensive. Why did I EVER want to get engaged? Take it back! TAKE IT BACK!
The family down your throat is obnoxious. You don’t want to touch your wedding-planning binder. You don’t want to get #FitForTheDress , but at the end of the day, you know you said “yes” for a reason, and that is because you love this person unconditionally. When all of it is said and done, the “big day” will totally be worth it.
Until then, I’ll looking for more goofy wedding shirts for my fiancé.