I’ve watched Childish Gambino’s new music video 18 times today. I’ve quoted Cardi B lyrics for the past two weeks. I’m constantly sharing videos of young activist around the world. And I question my contribution to the world daily. But seriously-what will my legacy be? What am I doing to change the world? How can I inspire others?
Doesn’t that freak you out? We all want to find what we’re are not only good at-but what we love. Develop that craft. Monetize it. Then change the world with it.Like we want our whole life to be a great Shark Tank pitch. And it worries me that it won’t work out that way. So I guess we’ll have to start small. Ask different questions: How can I make today greater than yesterday? Who can I impact this week? Am I doing enough to develop and nourish the environment that I am currently in? I don’t know….we’ll figure it out.
I’ve moved quite a bit over the last few years. Moving and changing and growing-all affect your relationships in different ways. I’m different. The people who I have loved are different.And both parties have different needs. A few of my friendships are falling apart...and I am finally at peace with that. It hurts. But I think a few of them need to disintegrate. 25 is interesting. It’s been a few years since graduation, and a lot of us are unhappy. Unhappy with our careers. Unhappy with our love lives. Unhappy with our contributions to the world. Contrary to popular belief-I don’t believe that it is mandatory to stick with a toxic friendship with the hope that it will get better. That just doesn’t seem healthy to me. I feed off of energy. And there is only so much energy that a toxic person can suck from you. I’ll be honest-I don’t have an answer. I don’t think losing all my good friends is the answer. But i don’t believe in enabling toxic behavior. I guess I should just leave it at this: check on those you love. Even the strong ones that you think have it all together. Don't Take advantage or project upon those you love. And let’s all agree to be pure.
I’ve been in a relationship the last few years. I’m dating my best friend. It’s pretty cool. However, I’m 25-and I would be lying to y’all if I didn’t share the questions I’ve had in the past. I grew up knowing that I would never NEED a partner in life. And I know many hate when I say that-but it’s true. I don’t think you NEED a partner to survive or thrive. I lost my dad at a pretty young age, so I watched my mom pick things up, work 7 days a week, and raise 3 children. She didn’t NEED a partner. It would've been nice. But it isn’t mandatory. So that has always been my view on love. I wanted to work my butt off in school. Figure out how to break into the entertainment world, and then-if I had time-I would find a partner. Lol now the world doesn’t work that way. And I’m glad that my plan shifted. But a lot of my friends are single and searching (and single and not searching). I kinda love that we are all at different stages with our love lives. THat’s how it should be. There is no guide to when and where or even if you should find a partner. It’s important to remember that. The most important earthly relationship you have is with yourself. So nurture that. Figure your shit out. And what is meant to be will be.
Damn. Adulting is hard.*sighs* My career has always been number one in my life.It’s something that I am extremely proud of. I love the world I work in. And I love the good that could come out of that world. But i’m 25. And i’m getting antsy. We spend most of lives at work. So why not love it? Why not make sure it is the right fit? I’m questioning what moves I should or shouldn’t make to advance my career. I’m questioning if I prefer to have work/life balance over decent pay. I’m questioning if I need job security or growth. Im questioning if New York is right for me. Our mid-twenties are interesting because we all have this unrealistic timer set. I have 4 more years to make the Forbes 30 Under 30 List-and I think about that constantly. But that timeline isn’t for everyone. And part of me believes that I should accept that. The other part of me wants to remember who tf I am---because anything is possible.
I questioned my choice to leave Texas quite often. The idea of leaving my mom and sisters scared me. And now i’m questioning whether I should live on the east or west coast. It took me awhile to fall in like with New York. This coast is different. And it took me a moment to figure out how I could thrive here. My original issues with the city were less about the city-and more about my growth. When you first move to New York-you question everything about yourself. Am I smart enough? Am I working hard enough? Am I enough? I never questioned my abilities before I moved here. The idea of that scared me. But i worked through it. And I am overall a better person for it. And I’m not running from New York. I think I did well here. It may just be time to move on.