We all have trust issues. But let’s be honest…there’s a reason for them. The guy I’m dating goes to the law school here, or so he says. Lol I low-key still don’t believe him sometimes. When he first told me he got in, I checked the student directory, and even though I saw his picture I questioned it. For weeks I thought he drove in from Austin to act like he went here! I wasn't convinced until I saw his parking sticker. I would constantly say, “you don’t even go here”, and he would laugh lol but I was serious. I know it’s ridiculous, but when people say statements that seem too good to be true….I immediately think that they are too good to be true. We've been wounded by past relationships, and though we've healed, the scars are reminders of the pain. Type A females have controls issues, we like to control EVERYTHING, but we can’t control who breaks our trust, so it’s easier to keep our distance. I don’t trust you because I can’t control you. I trusted “The Chameleon”, and was severely let down. How do you allow yourself to open up once you've been exposed to the possible outcome? So yes…I have trust issues. *Kanye shrugs*
I weigh the pros and cons of love out like it’s a balance sheet. If me+you doesn't reveal a positive net income then I’m out. 1+1 should equal 2 million, if not then why are we together? I think of love as an equation, and I’m constantly manipulating the variables. However, this equation isn't about money, it’s about my happiness. Do the horrible moments make the great moments worth it? I constantly ask myself, “Is it worth it?”
I have two emotions: anger and bliss….and yes Drake, I too can go from 0 to 100 real quick! When I was younger, I didn't really understand girls that cried over guys. I didn't understand allowing yourself to show weakness. But then I became that girl, and spent a summer crying over a jerk. It’s one of those things that you can’t relate too until you've experienced it. So if you’re expecting a plethora of emotions, you’ll be disappointed with me. Again, if I can’t control it, I want no part of it. I have no control over the way you will make me feel, and it gives me anxiety. Yes…I could be missing out on the feeling of love, but i’m saving myself from the unnecessary feeling of a broken heart.
Y'all sleep is life! *ratchetly claps* Friday was date night, and I told him that he’s lucky that I like him more than sleep, because that’s what I could be doing right now. Lol Type A’s plan out their days, weeks in advance, and this includes nap time. If I’m trying to rule the world then I WILL choose sleep over you. World Dominators need rest too. *twirls*
Before we even begin to date, I plan our break-up. Yes…Type A’s plan EVERYTHING. I've already developed my hypothesis and decided on whether it’s worth it to reject or accept the Ho. Lol get it? I know it’s horrible, but I often see it as realistic. When a friend of mine, “Oh Honey”, sees a relationship she begins to paint a picture of a happy home, children, and love; I often just see the future separation.
I need to become an I, before we can be a We. I want to be established as myself before I become a part of another person. My biggest fear is working hard and still being seen as that guy’s girlfriend. That’s not fair! *snaps in Z formation*
“If we go to dinner at 6 instead of 7, we can cuddle for an hour and I’ll still have time to study.” Lol this is a little embarrassing but I negotiate date night. Everything is a business deal to me, and i'm constantly looking for a trade! I haven’t learned to separate my business side from my personal life, and until I do it’s probably going to be a mess.
When I was younger I would act helpless to make guys feel better. I lost my dad when I was really young, so I was raised in a single parent home. I was raised to be able to take care of myself. So, it’s not that I want to dominate the situation; it’s just that I can AND I will if you don’t step-up. I will never NEED someone, it’s just not in my spirit.
Ring by Spring seems to be a real thing. But don’t you ever wonder if your soul mate was across the world, and you’re settling for comfortable? How do you know that he’s the one, when there could be someone out there that can make you happy? Maybe my commitment issues are revealing themselves, but I can’t help but question what else is out there. That’s why I don’t put up with games, because there’s a traveler out there with a British accent ready to treat you better. *twirls away*