1. He Gives You Anxiety Instead Of Butterflies
When I was with “The Chameleon”, I often confused nerves for butterflies. There’s a big difference. Butterflies are positive. They reveal that you’re excited to be in this individual’s presence. They show you that you have a natural spark and interest. Nerves, however, are the exact opposite. They reveal anxiety and doubt. They make you question if you’re making the right decision, and if you’re with the right one. The problem is that you feel both nerves and butterflies in your gut, and that’s confusing! *shakes head like a Polaroid picture* With the Chameleon, I was constantly nervous because I knew that at any moment it could blow up. I wasn’t happy…I was anxious. And I was waiting for something bad to happen. I just didn’t want to admit what I already knew, so I acted like they were butterflies. You can’t make nerves into butterflies….
2. He Doesn't Inspire You
A few seasons ago, I met an older man. He wasn’t like wheelchair, deathbed old; just like, twice my age old. Lol I was tired of dating the same type of guy, so I decided to try something new. Anyways, he was sweet, charming, and confident, which was great; he was also EXTREMELY wealthy, which was different from the scrubs that I usually dated. #noshade the problem was that he wanted me to be a stay at home and be a trophy wife. He kind of just wanted me to skip class and travel around the world with him. Now, I know you’re probably wondering why this didn’t work out. Lol when I told my mom that I denied a fourth date with someone who owned an investment bank, she questioned my sanity! Lol But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t commit to someone who wanted me to live THEIR life. He didn’t believe in my dreams. He didn’t inspire me to want to change the world…so it was over. I want to fall for someone who makes me want to get up and be a better person. I want them to love me so much, that they love my dreams as well. I want to be inspired, and if he isn’t inspiring you, then he isn’t Mr. Right. And the moral of that story is: being a sugar baby is hardwork lol I couldn't last week.
3. He Doesn't Make You Feel Like “The One”
This one is a deal-breaker. There is NO reason the person you’re with shouldn't make you feel like the one. If he doesn't show that he’s lucky to be with you, then he doesn't truly believe that he is. And that’s a problem. You deserve someone who knows how special you are.
4. He Brings You Down
A few years ago, a close friend of mine was dating a toxic soul. He would constantly belittle her, and laugh at her dreams. It was disgusting. It was like he had to break her down, so that she was on the same level as he was. He disguised his insecurities in jokes that were at her expense. That kind of hate will NEVER be love. If he tries to dull your shine, then you’re better off without him.
5. He Makes You Compete
*clears throat* Now listen to me very carefully: Do NOT compete for a man. I repeat, Do NOT compete for a man. *snaps in Z formation* I dislike guys that get a sick pleasure out of making women compete for their attention. Let me explain, if you have to fight other women for a guy, then he is NOT your man! That is everyone’s man. He is officially community property. Yep….you’re pretty much dating a communal bathroom. #portapottysyndrome
6. His Darkside Scares You
The biggest mistake that you can ever make is believing that someone doesn’t have a dark-side. Everyone has a dark-side; and that is both the most beautiful, and most frightening thing about life. The problem is, that we fall for someone before we’re able to truly see that scary side of them. If he bites his nails and has a slight twitch when life is bad; then girl keep him and ride off into the sunset! Lol However, if he can’t handle his stress and transforms into The Hulk…then run. Run before you fall in too deep. If his way of dealing with hurt is hurting other people, then he isn’t Mr. Right. #runnow #farfaraway
7. You Argue More Than You Smile
The other night I tried REALLY REALLY hard to get in an argument with Bae. No seriously, I went off.#yesimcrazy #noregrets I was upset about not being able to see him as often as I should. So I let the problem build-up, and then I exploded. And he had the most annoying reaction…..he didn’t react -___-. Lol I was so perturbed. He waited until I was done, and then agreed with me and said he would fix it. I was already ready for a full-blown argument: my neck was ready to roll, my fingers were in snapping formation, and my eye roll was on fleek. So when he agreed with me the only thing I could say was: HUH!?! Lol he just laughed and told me that I needed to get over this arguing thing. “If we disagree, then we work it out. If you have a problem, tell me and I’ll fix it…vice versa. What do we have to argue about?” Bae is so BAE. Lol but he’s right. I realized that The Chameleon ruined my outlook on what relationship should be. The Chameleon and I would break-up to make-up. And that’s disgusting. And that’s toxic. And if that happens, then he isn’t Mr. Right. You’re just playing a game to distract you from what you already know. #stopwastingyourtime
8. He's Good…Not Great
Not all guys are horrible. Sometimes they don’t mess up. Sometimes they treat you really well. But sometimes, they just aren’t Mr. Right. I hate when people say: “Girl you better keep him, that is a GOOD MAN.” Lol Like….EXCUSE ME? *snaps in Z formation* Yes…he may be a GOOD MAN. But that doesn’t mean that he is good for you. You don’t deserve good, you deserve great! You deserve amazing! You deserve: Drunk In Love Remix with Kanye, Alanis Morsette before Joey from Full House broke her heart, Frank Ocean because that special someone BETTER be thinking about you, love. It sucks that not every nice guy will be THE GUY. Just because he’s nice, doesn’t mean that he’s Mr. Right.
In my best Beyoncé voice: “My Aspiration in Life…..*dramatic pause* would be to be HAPPY!
I refuse to let anything make me unhappy this semester. It is MY semester, I only have one more to go. I just want to embrace the moment, and live life blissfully. I want to look back on this semester and scream: I DID THAT! *snaps in z formation*. I want to surround myself with beautiful people with gorgeous soul. I want to chase life. I want to be happy. This is my last semester….I WILL be happy!
Last night, I went indoor skydiving! *twirls* Now, I LOVE adventures; but that doesn't mean I’m good at them! So while I was in this flying contraption, everything was great. I felt like tinkerbell! *twirls* The problem came while I was trying to leave that magic air vent. You see, while you’re in the vent you’re floating on air, but as soon as you leave the vent gravity exist again. I attempted to leave the vent face first. So I hit the ground….face first! Lol it was tragic! #mylife But it was still the most thrilling experience I’ve had in months. Now, I hate falling…especially on my face. *grabs mirror* But I feel like that’s what life is about! It’s about chasing adventures! And sometimes you have to fail, and then laugh at those failures and try again. So this semester, I challenge you to not only seek adventure, but learn from the failed ones. I learned that gravity is a real life thing! *snaps in Z formation*
3. Saying YES!
I’m a Type A Female; and yes….i have the next 3 years of my life planned out hour by hour. *Kanye shrugs* Now, the problem with this is that my planner leaves little room for variance. I’m missing out on random opportunities. I find myself saying no to other’s plans because I have my own. And I see NOTHING wrong with sticking to my schedule; I just fear that I’m missing out on the hidden gems. I’m missing out on moments that could be beautiful. SO…say yes! Say yes to grabbing coffee with a new friend. Say yes running the bear trail earlier then you had planned. Say yes to taking snapchats with no make-up on. Because saying no to simple variances can add up….
4. Embrace Tradition
My school has a ton of weird traditions that I haven’t tried yet. And no, I still have no interest in tortilla tossing. But I do want to embrace the traditions that bleed green and gold. I want to go to at least one game of every athletic team, and learn their chants. Not because I’ll enjoy it….because let’s be honest, I probably won’t. #literallyicannot But because this semester is my last chance to experience those traditons as a student. So why not? You’ve already paid for it all….#privateschooltuitionsucks #broke #justdoit
5. Network Like Your Life Depends On It
…Because It Does!
If you haven’t been warned before, let me be the first to do so. SALLIE MAE DOES NOT PLAY!*snaps in Z formation* She will be asking for her loans back before you can post your graduation selfie! So be ready! Take advantage of the resources around you…and find a job! Yes….you need to network to get work! *snaps in Z formation* Start with your professors; they are where they are for a reason! They have experience AND wisdom. Even if they aren’t wise enough to reject the A- rule. *rolls eyes*
6. Reflect On Your Journey
Do you remember who you were freshman year? I don’t care who you are….we were ALL disgusting specimens! Lol Take a moment to reflect on how far you've come! Because #yasssss hunny! Whether it was a spiritual, emotional, or physical journey it needs to be celebrated!
7. Leave Your Mark
I walk into every classroom pageant waving. Now, a classmate of mine did call me pretentious for this; but I don’t see it that way. I just want to be remembered for the girl who came into the room with her head held high and a bright smile. Let your presence make a difference! You have one more semester! Ask yourself: what will I be remembered for? #youwillremembermyname
8. Get To Know The Souls Around You
Do you know your classmates? I mean,do you really know them? Do you know which classmate was raised in a single parent home? Do you know which classmate survived a crazy car accident? Do you know which classmate is paying their own way through school? Yea…I didn’t think so. I am the FIRST person to scream: “NO NEW FRIENDS”. However, the people around you are in your life for a reason. If you don’t at least ATTEMPT to learn their stories/dreams and goals, you’re missing out. You are meant to learn from those around you, so get to know them before they leave.
9. Thank Those That Helped You
I wouldn’t have made it to senior year without the help of many. So I have many to thank. It may sound ridiculous, but we need to thank those that carried us AND challenged us. So yes….You need to thank that professor that didn’t round you 89.9 to A.
10. Forgive Those That Didn’t
If you know me, then you not only recognize me by my feng shui,but you know that I had a HORRIBLE freshmen year. I was surrounded by toxic souls, and people who thought they were better than me. There was a group in particular that played a cruel joke, because of their FALSE sense of power. And im going to be honest…it almost broke me. I felt alone. I felt hated. I felt like I was wrong for being myself.And to that group, I say thank you. Thank you for being such weak individuals that you needed each other to TRY to take me down. Thank you for teaching me that I am stronger than I EVER thought I was.Thank You for making me realize that I wasn’t meant to fit in!And I forgive you all, because i'm a better person now....and I came out on top! *snaps and twirls to the haters* We’ve all had to face individuals filled with hate,BUT it is our job to forgive and thank them! Haters let you know that you are special and different. Now listen closely as I say this: I have NEVER seen a hater doing better than me! *snaps in Z formation. Forgive…your soul deserves it.
1. Who Are You?
No seriously…who are you? Have you taken the time to figure that out yet? Are you a dreamer? Are you a free-spirit? Are you a Type A control freak? Do you want to take over the world? Do you aspire to inspire? WHO ARE YOU? The truth is, that there is NOTHING wrong with not knowing who you are. However, there is a problem with committing to someone before you figure yourself out. How do you expect someone to love you, when they don't know who you are. They don't know who you are because YOU don't who you are! *snaps in Z formation* That isn't fair to your future partner, and it isn't fair to you! You get one life, don’t you want to discover who you were meant to be? You owe that to yourself. We’re young, we've spent 18 years being who our parents told us to be. Then we spent 4 years being who our university wanted us to be. It is finally our turn. You get to be your own person. You get to explore your own wants and desires. You get to find your own beliefs, and challenge yourself to grow. Become an "I" before you seek a "We"! I’m not saying that your mate will alter you, and I’m DEFINITELY not saying love hinders growth. I’m just saying that sometimes you have to be alone to find out who you truly are.
2. You Haven’t Fallen Crazy In Love With Yourself Yet
I sing love songs to myself. No seriously, I stare in the mirror and belt out Crazy In Love, while i'm in a face mask and robe. Lol I think it’s necessary. I think it’s necessary to love yourself so much that sometimes a serenade is needed. I feel like I need to explain this one in Beyonce Song Titles, so here we go:
I want to fall so “Drunk In Love” with “Me, Myself, and I” that I put my “Love On Top”. I want to throw my “Freakum Dress” on and “Run the World”! I want to know that I am an “Independent Woman” and that I love myself for my “Flaws and All”. Maybe one day I’ll fall “Dangerously In Love”, with someone who catches my interest at “Hello”. But until then I need to love myself like “XO” and be “Flawless”.
Yep…that about explains it all *twirls*
3. You're Fickle
Ladies if your hardest decision of the day is picking nail polish colors, then what makes you think you are ready for marriage. LOL it’s ok to change your mind, that’s what our youth is for. And yes…I say youth because we’re YOUNG! Accept it. Accept that you’re young, and you’re going to make mistakes. But do you really want your marriage to be one of them? It’s ok to make impulsive decisions on simple things, just make sure your commitment for another person isn't going to change with the direction of the wind.
4. You were dating a scrub about a week ago
My favorite teacher in high school used to call my boyfriends “flavors of the week”. Lol She would laugh at the girls who dated a new person every week. And she was right. I have a friend who has never been Instagram single. And by that I mean, that she has always had a guy who she is so “deeply in love with” that they have to take a hundred caught off guard/staged photos. #girlstop It’s ok to take a selfie by yourself! Can you fall in and out of love that quickly? Im seriously asking this, can you? If you were in love with another guy last week, are you really ready to say yes to the new guy’s proposal? It’s ok if you’re not! But be genuine with your feelings.
5. A Life Commitment Shouldn't Be A Fad
I feel like getting engaged is the “in” thing to do. I’ve never been in love, but I believe in it. I believe that it’s a real connection between people, and the word shouldn't be thrown around so lightly. I go to a private Baptist University, and ring by spring is a REAL thing. I guess its what all the “cool kids” are doing now. I have a friend that only majored in engineering so that she would meet AND marry an engineer. Well….lol she succeeded! *snaps for her* Lol but is she happy? You have to ask yourself: Are you getting married because its something that you want? Is marriage this young going to make you happy? Or did you get married because that’s what is expected of you? Do you think that it's your "next step"? Do you think you need a partner to complete you? Again, I’m not judging. I support happiness. And if getting married at a young age will make you truly happy then do it! YOGMO! (You only get married once!) Or do you? Choose wisely! Marriage isn't a fad. You can't just throw it away when it isn't cool anymore.
6. You Can Be A Princess Without A Prince
I secretly hate Disney Princesses. They brainwashed us to think that we can only have a happy ending if we can successfully get prince charming to rescue us. That’s disgusting. Do you really think your purpose in life is to be rescued? Why do you strive to be a damsel in distress? What is cute about being dependent? *snaps in Z formation and yells NOTHING* Lol you can be a princess without a prince. I literally cringe when people say “he completes me”. Like WTH does that means. Are you not whole without him? Why don’t you say that he “favors you”, or that he “brings out the best in you”. But he completes you? NO! If you think that you need a man to make you whole then you’re to young to get married….
7. You Don’t Know That Man
You met him at Welcome Week, and you’re engaged before finals? No, that isn’t a real thing. You DON’T know him. You haven’t seen him at his worst moments, and that’s when the real him will be revealed. We all go through cycles in life. We go through highs and lows. You need to see someone at their Beyoncé, AND accept them at their Lindsey Lohan. You need to figure out if you can accept their lows. Only time can reveal that to you. Give yourself time, don’t rush it.
8. What if?
What if you were meant to take a different path? What if you were meant to grow on your own, before you grow with someone else? What if stressing over your ring by spring was actually prohibiting your future? I think it’s important to leave your options open. If you don’t know what’s out there, then how do you know you’ve found the one? I love being Texas, but I know there is more to the world then Texas; and I intend to explore it. What if you weren’t meant to get your ring by spring….