One of my best friends is trilingual! She speaks English, Italian, and FLIRTATION! *snaps in Z formation* She is a natural born flirt, and she can't help it! I, on the other hand, wasn't as blessed in that department. The last time I tried to flirt with my boyfriend was at dinner a few weeks ago. I attempted to flip my braids over my shoulder, and do the sexy lip bite. But instead the bread-stick in my other hand got caught in the friction of my braids. So there I was, biting my lip...with a bread-stick caught on the left side of my head! *face palms* lol anyways my flirty friend often flirts without intention. And that's ok....sometimes; but if you're interested in being more than casual then you're going to have to try! And trying means ACTUALLY caring! So yes...that means you actually have to put in effort! He can't sweep you off your feet if you don't give him a chance! It's not his fault if you flirt without intention! #dobetter
2) Sabotage! Sabotage! Sabotage!
I have a bad habit of ruining a good thing, I can't help it! Sometimes it just seems like it's too good to be true, so I ruin it before I get attached. When I was younger, I would create conflict in a relationship for fun! I was dating this guy named pookie, yes my dating history is slightly ratchet, and it was going great. We didn't argue much, and he was sweet. And then I just got bored...and when I get bored, I get crazy. Lol I just remember sending him the most ridiculous text and expecting him to take it, and then when he didn't, I put the blame on him! Lol it isn't the guy's fault when you freak out and ruin things. If you choose to sabotage the relationship, then it isn't him....it's you!
3) The B Word Gives You Anxiety
The word boyfriend gives me hives! *begins to twitch* No...like real-life twitch when people call my boyfriend, MY BOYFRIEND! I'm working on it, but it's still hard. It's like hearing the title makes it real...a little too real! Now we criticize guys for not wanting the title, but do we want the title? Or better question, are we actually ready for the title? *begins to hyperventilate* Sometimes it's just easier to blame it on the other person; but if you're afraid of the title it may not be him....it's probably you!
4) You're Constantly Looking
For An Escape Route
I have a friend, we'll call her Miss Commitment Issues, and she is always searching for a way out! She gets in a relationship, and immediately looks for faults, and if the guy isn't doing anything, then she'll make up an issue! A few years ago, she went on a date with a wealthy older man, but she couldn't figure out why he was wealthy. She looked his job salary up on Glassdoor and was convinced that he had to be in the Cartel because he shouldn't be as rich as he was... so she dumped him! It turns out that he inherited a large sum so he was well off.. and she was single! *shakes head*
Deny! Deny! Deny! Deny everything! Forget hiding your kids and wife, you need to hide your feelings! *snaps in Z formation* lol and that's the problem! My favorite thing to tell the people I love is that I hate them! Lol does that make any sense? One of my friends has met her soulmate, and they're both in denial! It's like one of those ridiculous romantic comedies where everyone else knows that the best-friends should be together... except the best-friends! *face palms* They are so comfortable with each other that it's low-key sickening! They do married couple things, but refuse to admit their connection. You can't run from your feelings for much longer! The truth, and LOVE, shall set you free! If you deny your feelings, you can't blame him for hiding his! *kanye shrugs* But we all know how EVERY rom-com ends! *sips tea*
6) Vulnerability Freaks You Out
I hate that word, it's awful! Who actually LIKES to be vulnerable? Who actually LIKES to share their faults? Who actually likes to admit that they aren't strong at every moment! Well... Not I! *snaps in Z formation! But the truth is, it is within vulnerability where you find love. You can't fall for someone who doesn't know your ugly side, your broken side. So find that one person, an be vulnerable! But until you do that, then it may not be him...it may be you!
7) The Friend-Zone
The Definition of the friend zone is: a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an un-reciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other
Lol I think it's so funny! I don't see a problem with the friend zoning people you aren't interested in... girl it is your prerogative! *twirls for you right to ALWAYS choose* but you shouldn't call guys who aren't just friends, your friends. Last week I was working a catering event, and one of my co-workers shared her perspective on the friend zone. She was in her late 60's, and she wanted to make it clear that she was a cougar and dates guys my age! *hides bae* but she went one and on about how the younger guy she was seeing kept referring to her as a "friend" and how angry it made her. "You don't talk to a friend the way we talk," she said. At first I was disgusted by the image, and then it clicked... she was right. If you immediately friend zone someone you're interested in, then you're missing out on any chance you have of them actually stepping up. If he has potential and you friend zone him then it isn't him...it's you! * twirls away*
I don't believe in lowering expectations...that's gross! Why would you do that? *snaps you out of it* But I also don't believe in asking for what you are not. Let's be honest, sometimes our expectations for guys are higher than our expectations for ourselves. Before you make a check-list of "must-haves" make sure you can pass your own test! You want a 21 year old man to have the same credential as a 40 year old...and it just doesn't work that way. Lol or you could always do what I do...and Date that 40 year old man! #ilikeoldermen if your expectations are unreasonable, then it's not him...it's you!
I don't believe in bad-timing, it's an excuse. You were meant to meet that person, at that time, and connect in that way. You met for a reason, though it may not last another season. If you're interested, then let it be known! What are you waiting for? Life is too short to wait for "perfect timing" that may never happen!
10) You're Waiting For Prince Charming
Disney lied to y'all! Lol there is no such thing as the perfect Prince Charming. So no, you can't lose a shoe, fall into a deep sleep, or even fight a war that saves your country (shoutout to Mulan) and expect a prince to come sweep you off of your feet! Lol I feel like everyone wants to meet the man of their dreams in some grand way, when he may just be a tinder swipe away! He may not come in shining armor, but he may the prince that was meant for you! If you're waiting for a fairytale, then it isn't him, it's you!
The tin man in the Wizard of Oz wishes that he had the heart that you REFUSE to use! *sighs* in the words of the great Kanye: "why you gotta be so heartless?" Lol I get it, some guys are jerks and in effect we put up a shield to defend ourselves. BUT not every guy is a jerk, and not every guy deserves to be treated like one. So find your heart Miss Tin Woman, and open it for a guy who deserves it! If not, it's not him..it's you!
12) It's A Game
In my best Lady Gaga voice: "let's play a love game, play a love game! Do you want love, or do you want fame? Are you in the game?"
No, but seriously, are you playing games? *sighs into a face palm* No one has times for your game girl! * snaps in Z formation* So if you're the girl that takes hours to text back, attempts to make someone jealous, or enjoys toying with other's emotions, then this one is for you: it's not him, it's you!