So earlier this week I read an opinion piece published by the Baylor Lariat it was titled:
Not Interested? Then don't give him your digits. It was a disgusting read. I was repulsed. He stated: "...it's somehow OK for a girl to give a guy her number and then never reply when he texts." He believes that women should simply deny giving out their phone numbers. He went on and on with sentences filled with entitlement, and then ended his piece with the most disturbing/disgusting statement of them all: He deserves an explanation. Let me be very clear Mr. Mott, women don't owe you a DAMN thing. I could go on about how wrong he is here OR I could provide him with multiple reasons why we don't owe him a damn thing.I chose the latter.... Here is the link to THAT post:
*In my best Beyoncé voice* I’m a GROWN woman, I can do whatever I want! *snaps in Z formation* The idea that I would have to explain to someone why women can respond to your advances in ANY WAY that THEY feel comfortable, blows my mind. So before I list reasons to defend my choice, let me be clear in saying that: I don’t need a reason to defend my choice…because I am a GROWN WOMAN…I don’t owe you a damn thing, including an explanation. I can literally do whatever I want. And if I want to give to give a guy my number that I have no interest in then that is MY choice. The conversation SHOULD end there. I don’t owe you anything else.
The common theme within many of my reasons is CHOICE. It disgust me that guys feel that they are perfectly justified and should be commended for making the choice to hit on you. It repulses me. BUT when a female chooses to respond in a way that she feels is best, it’s critiqued. Dear guys who feel that they have a say on how a woman chooses to respond, YOU DON’T.
This is the one thing that annoys me the most about guys that feel women owe them a text back or an onsite denial: *clears throat in preparation to read males mentioned above* Did I ask you to hit on me? No seriously, did I go out my way to interrupt your day? Did I catch you off guard and put you on spot? Did I make you extremely uncomfortable? Oh wait…no, that was you who did all of that! *sips margarita* Some guys argue that asking someone out takes a lot of courage and should be rewarded….BUT DID I ASK YOU TO DO THAT? No. I did not. Lets be real, I don’t care about how hard it is for you to do something, that I did not insist on you doing. Honestly, you owe me an apology for interrupting my day.
*in my best entitled bro voice* “Who does she think she is? She didn’t even text me back.” *in my best princess Amira voice*:Do you pay my bills? No seriously…do you pay my bills…bills….bills? Because if you don’t then I only have one question for you “bro”. “Who do you think you are?” You need to accept that when you choose to hit on a girl, you are NOT entitled to anything. Nothing. Cero .Zilch. She owes you nothing at all including a text back, and explanation, or even acknowledgment.
Yes…this may sound a little blunt, but it’s true. A guy once argued that: “when a girl does not reply or makes up excuses as to why she never replied, it hurts the guy more.” And to that I respond: your feelings are your problem. You put yourself in that situation…so deal with it. The next time you hit on a girl you should probably make a pros and cons list. List out every single outcome, analyze the variables, and decide on whether you are able to handle the emotional effects of each response. I don’t feel bad that your feelings are hurt. You should’ve spent less time “building up the courage” and more time thinking about realistic outcomes that may “hurt you”. You own your feels. You chose to hit on a woman that had no interest in you. Your feelings are your problem. Don’t take you insecurities out on me. *twirls away*
*face palms into a sigh* Y’all this young man argued that guys know exactly what women mean when we say that “we’re busy”. *cackles* hahahaha I cannot, I literally cannot carry on taking this argument seriously. Because how dare any women that YOU choose to approach and show interest in actually have a life? How dare she operate without considering you and your schedule? How dare she actually have things to do? Now that is just rude and will not be accepted. Because you are Tarzan and she is Jane, and you must beat your chest in anger until she gives you the attention you deserve. #stopthat #stopthatrightnow We’re busy. We had a life before you, and we will have a life after you. We didn’t add you to our day planners, so all of the Type A Females of the World are going to need you wait your turn in line. Maybe one day she won’t be too busy to text you back….lets hope that day will never come! #workbetch
Compared To My Fear Of Retaliation
I get annoyed when guys argue how difficult it is to deal with rejection, and how scary it is to hit on women. Do you know what’s REALLY difficult and scary? Holding your breath out of fear as you pass a guy demanding for your number on the corner. Or the fear you feel as the drunken, aggressive guy at the club insists that you exchange numbers. Or even better, that awkward feeling you get when a guy hits on you in front of your peers in a class/work setting, and indirectly removes your power? I could go on and on and name the hundreds of thousands of women who have been attacked both verbally and physically for rejecting men. But before last night, I thought that was common knowledge. I foolishly believed that men knew that our response was our choice, and that this article that infuriated me was just the mindset of one person. And then I spoke to one of my male best friends and he recklessly said the words that millions of women fear: “Well what about the normal guys that aren’t aggressive? Why can’t they hit on you? How are they supposed to approach women?” The “normal guys”.*face palms into a sigh* Do you think women would go within 100 miles of a non-normal guy if it were that easy to spot them? Women will choose to respond to your advances in a way that makes them most comfortable. And you “normal” guys are just going to have to deal with that. Because your fear of rejection is NOTHING compared to my fear of retaliation.