Halloween brings out the crafty side of all of your Pinterest inspired friends. We all have that one friend that was meant to be a costume designer, and she or he reveals that every Halloween with their homemade costumes. So yes…please tell me more about how you transformed your cheap curtains into a gladiator costume! *snaps and twirls for your secret powers*
Yes, we notice your outfit screams 2007 Britney. And yes, we get that you are impersonating Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball. I even get your reference to Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl nip slip. We get it. You’re the super witty, pop-culture loving type on Halloween. So binge on E News and People magazine and creative because I can’t wait to guess which of the many celebrities that have recently hit rock-bottom you’re about to impersonate.
You have to be extremely dedicated to become this type of halloweener. You’ve picked a Halloween costume that has movement restrictions. You’re either a large obnoxious Pikachu that can’t fit through the party doors, or you’re a beer pong table…that will eventually be used to play beer pong on. I twirl my tiara to you few brave halloweeners because the way I see it you’re going to be stuck in the same pose all night, while the rest of us rave it up. But hey, maybe WE’RE not doing it right!
*face palms* uggghh don’t you hate that couple that Halloweens together. I mean come on, can’t we have one holiday where you aren’t shoving your love in everyone else’s faces? My favorite couple costumes are the ones that don’t really need to go together. For example, peanut butter doesn’t need jelly. And everytime I see that costume on a couple I know they are destined to be exes! Lol Maybe it’s just me, I personally hate jelly. And my boyfriend is allergic to peanut butter, so that pairing just screams: call a paramedic and bust out your epi-pen to me! Lol If you're going to be a couple on Halloween make sure that your two elements always compliment/thrive off of each other. Like water. One of you be two Hydrogens, and the other can be Oxygen! Lol that make sense, water makes sense. Everyone needs water. Your bond will last forever! #truelove
Real friends Halloween together! *slightly ratchetly claps* It’s true! I’m sad that I’m so far away from my girl squad. They are constantly throwing out ideas for a team attack on Halloween (which may not happen because let’s be honest I was the super fun one). The theme your squad chooses to be on Halloween reveals the true spirit of the squad. This is super embarrassing, but in high school, my two best friends on my soccer team and I decided to all dress up for Halloween and go to class. Our theme was: barely in dress code! *sighs* lol I know..I know, our spirit screamed high school hormones! Those are the years we do not speak of! Lol but I think it’s funny that my girl squad is thinking of dressing up as comic characters..this theme screams: nerds at heart! #squadgoals
For many Halloween is the one chance you get to be naked. You put on lingerie, throw on animal ears, and it’s suddenly a great costume. Now, I do not judge/ I CANNOT judge! Lol but isn’t it cold? I moved to New York, and I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be around 40 degrees during the Halloween weekend, I physically cannot be naked, I don’t think it’ll be good for my health. *grabs scarf*
*sighs into a face palm* This group of people high-key pisses me off. I honestly feel like they didn’t get enough attention as a child, so they throw tantrums and create storms to get what they are lacking. The offenders are assholes. Halloween is not an excuse to be an insensitive, offensive, ignorant…asshole. And there is really no better way to say this: Don’t be an ass! *in my best Drake voice* It could all be so simple! Don’t appropriate. Don’t blackface. Don’t be a racial slur. Don’t ridicule a death or physical harm done to another person. Don’t use this holiday as an excuse to hurt others.
I’m a Halloween slacker! *Kanye shrugs* Slackers put in no effort when it comes to their costumes. You just throw together things that you find around your apartment. I haven’t completely committed to costume this year, but I’ll give y'all a hint. I usually go as a princess *grabs tiara*, Beyonce*grabs Blue Ivy*, or myself! *begins to twirl*
Be careful with this type Halloweener. They use the holiday as an excuse to let out their inner creepy thoughts. I knew this one guy that kept insisting that I added a lot of blood to my costume. He kept suggesting a BLOODY cheerleader or a BLOODY pop star…and honestly I watch too much Snapped NOT to get freaked out by that. The scary ones actually like to be scary! They actually take the holiday seriously! And who does that anymore?!? lol