I feel like we think there’s no in between when it comes to friendship. It’s like we’re either friends or enemies…and that’s not always true. You see, we were once friends, great friends, and I don’t think hatred can come out of what was once true. So…I may not like you, but I could never hate you.
You know what’s awkward? Going home and having your family ask about your ex-best friend. There are so many ways you can handle the discussion. You can lie and say that she’s fine to avoid going into detail. You can admit that you don’t know what’s going on in her life, and risk the criticism. Or you can tell them the truth, and deal with everyone else’s opinion of the situation. It’s awkward. It feels like a bad break-up. Do I delete all of our pictures on social media? Do I remove the emojis from your contact name? Do I unfriend you on Snapchat? There are rules that go with breaking up with your significant other, but there are no rules for breaking up with your best friend. So yes….it’s just as awkward for me too.
So I ended one of my oldest friendships last semester. It didn’t get ugly, but it got extremely real. Her true intentions and views of our friendship were revealed, and it sucked. I feel like I got played. I feel like she was only good friends with me while she was dating my guy best friend, And as soon as their relationship ended, so did our friendship. The funny thing is that it didn’t have to happen like that. I made sure that she knew I didn’t view them as a pair. I saw her as an individual, and that individual was my friend. But it didn’t work out. *Kanye shrugs* So to that best friend that I used to have, our friendship was real….well it was to me!
Best Friends know the skeletons that are in your closets. They know where the bodies are buried. And worst of all, they even know what you looked like in middle school. So this is an overall rule that you’re going to want to obey: secrets revealed during your term as my best friend are safe. And I expect the same respect from you. Look, we both work really hard and want to make it. So in 5 years, I see a picture of me during my horrible years of puberty on The Shade Room I’m gonna know that you leaked it…and that means war. *snaps in Z formation*
We both know the real you. So you can act and snapchat and Instagram to fool the rest of the world. But I know the truth. I know what really bugs you and I know what really happened to our friendship. I know that it was more about you, and your insecurities, and your questions in life than anything else. I know that you’ve chosen to disconnect in hopes to find what you’ve been looking. So I hope that you’ve finally realized that the answer to all of your questions is loving yourself. I hope you’ve taken the time to be alone and fall madly in love with yourself. Because you are a beautiful person. You are stunning both inside and out, and I hope that you’ve finally realized that.
I hope you win. No seriously, I still hope you win. I hope you take over the world. I hope you accomplish all of your goals. I hope you WIN! I will ALWAYS root for you. There is no malice in my heart towards you. So I may not be on your team anymore, but I am not your opponent. I want nothing but the best for you. You once shared your dreams, fears, and goals with me, and I rooting for you to conquer them all.
So I can honestly say that I have no idea who you are right now. You see, you changed and you can deny it, but we both know the truth. Let’s just be honest. You wanted to be someone else(,) so you transformed. You weren’t happy, so you chose to find that happiness in a man that isn’t worth ANYONE’S time. You rejected those who were always there for you in hopes that you could start over. And that’s fine. I’m over it. I just hope you’re happy. I hope you love the new you. I hope your new life is finally satisfying your fickle soul. I hope that reject of rebound was worth destroying true friendships. I hope you chose correctly. I genuinely hope that this life you’ve chosen makes you happy, and that you never make someone feel the need to write this ever again.
Thank you for letting me escape to your apartment during my first heartbreak. Thank you for never belittling my dreams. Thank you for working really hard and inspiring others to do so as well. Thank for cursing out drunk guys that approached me the wrong way. Thank you for telling me my ex was a jerk. Thank you for spotting the hate in others before I was able to see it myself. Thank you for being my sister…for a little while. That’s what we were, we were sisters. And we’re probably never going to be friends again, it’s just not written in our stars. But I hope you know that we are sisters, and because of that if you ever need anything, I will always have your back.